The Times Roxanne Stumped Megamind
by snapeygirl
Summary: Megamind gets stumped. Several times. By Roxanne Richie.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I don't own anything Megamind. I just borrow with abandon. Be nice

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**Part 1 Minion Missing**

***Knock, knock, knock***

The sound reverberated throughout the room, disturbing the single occupant. With a sigh, Roxanne Richie got up to answer the door.

"Yes? Who is it?" She asked, looking though the peephole on her door. Noticing that it was a frequent visitor that usually doesn't knock (he usually just comes in through the back), she unlocked the door. But, being the smart reporter woman she is, she leaves the chain connected to the door still.

"What do you want, Megamind?" She asked. "It's not my usual kidnapping day. I hope you know that it's also my day off."

The person behind the door was non-other than the bane of her existence. Very skinny, great big head, all dressed in black leather and spikes. Not to mention that he's a popular primary color – the color Blue. He also just happens to be wearing a not-so-evil look on his face.

"Miss Richie! Please – don't close the door in my face. It's imporiytant!" Megamind hurriedly exclaimed. "It's Minion – he's missing! Please! You've gotta help me!"

_'Minion? Where would he have gone off to? He's never very far away from his best friend/boss. Something must be terribly wrong for him to be gone.'_ she thought to herself. _'It must be bad, because Megamind said "please."'_

Unclasping the chain, she opened the door. Moving aside, she let the blue alien inside her apartment.

"Alright, let me get some better clothes on, and I will be right with you." Showing him to the couch, she beckoned him to sit.

Going to her bedroom, she got on a comfortable pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt. Walking back to her living room, she almost burst out laughing at the sight before her eyes.

It was Megamind, anxiously chewing on his fingers. _'Man, that must not feel good, if he's looking as if all he wants to do is cry, but can't. Must be bad for his image – hence him chewing on his fingers. Must be a nervous habit.'_

"Alright, Megamind. Lets go find your friend Minion." With that, she ushered him out of the apartment.

He docilely follows, which to Roxanne, was a very bad sign. He's never docile about anything. He's usually very flamboyant. And all he worries about is presentation.

"Thanka you, Miss Richie. I don't know what I'd do without Minion. He's my best fwreend." Megamind told her, knuckling away his tears, making it look as if he wasn't crying.

Nodding her acceptance of his words, Roxanne walked out of her apartment building, waving goodbye to Carlos, her doorman.

Stepping out onto the street, she turned to him. "Alright Megamind. Where should we start to look?"

"I don't know. That's why I came to get you. I don't even have the faintest clue about where he is. I looked in all his usual places." he whined, trying to not look like an overgrown child.

"Did you check the pet stores? The beaches? The Aquarium?" She named off names, each time getting a nod of the head to each one.

"Doesn't he have a tracking device in his gorilla suit?" She asked him.

Megamind just looked at her, dumbstruck. _'Why didn't I think of that?'_ he thought to himself. _'If I had thought of that, I wouldn't have needed to bother Roxanne.'_

Outloud, he said, "Yes he does. And no," he started, noticing that she was going to ask if he thought of that until now, "I haven't thought of checking for the tracking deviece. Thank you Roxanne. That was a big help. Now, I'm going back to the Lair and activating the deviece."

With that said, Megamind just walked off, leaving Roxanne in the middle of the sidewalk, with a bemused look on her face. _'Man, I need to stun him more often. He looked kinda cute with a dumbstruck look on his face.'_

Now that she was out already, she decided to go to the store. She needed stuff for dinner and she wasn't in the mood to order take-out. Maybe she should make stir-fry. With that thought in mind, she walked off, with a slight smile on her face. _'Maybe, Megamind isn't all bad, afterall.'_


	2. Chapter 2

**AN**: Here is the next chapter. Hope you guys like it.

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**Part 2 Birthday Surprise**

Roxanne Richie was just getting out of her car at her office, hoping that today wouldn't be a bad one. _'Knowing my luck,'_ she thought to herself, _'I wind up having the worst day imaginable.'_ Sighing, she did not want to go to work today, she walked up to the building.

But before she could get to the doors of the building, someone tapped her on her shoulder. Turning around, she got a mist of some kind in her face, after that all she saw was black.

*****RRMMRRMMRRMM*****

Megamind was waiting very impatiently for Minion to get back from acquiring Miss Richie from her place of employment. He had a very brilliantly evil idea that would rid the city of Mr. Goody-To-Shoes.

All he could really think about was the date. It was his birthday. 30 years ago today – on a different planet – he came into the world. So he thought that kidnapping Roxanne would be a great birthday present for himself. But, the only problem was, that nobody but Minion knew that today was his day of birth. Or so he thought.

There was a sudden commotion at the entrance of the Evil Lair. The brain-bots were making a racket: Minion was back, and he had a something over his shoulder.

Minion set Roxanne on her chair and wrapped the ropes around her wrists. He then pulled the bag that was over her head off, giving Megamind his first glimpse of the kidnappee. She was wearing a black and blue dress that was knee length and off the shoulder. _'She really likes those types of dresses doesn't she?'_ he thought to himself. He also saw that she had gotten her hair cut.

Sitting down on his evil high back chair (it had spikes on the top and the arm rests of course), Megamind gave a look at Minion. Minion noticed the look, and scurried to the other room to get the equipment ready for the "plan".

"Miss Richie," Megamind exclaimed out loud, "we meet again. And I hope you noticed; I had the bag washed, just for you."

"Yes, I did notice. Thank you Megamind, for saving me the trouble of asking you to wash it." Roxanne said, very dryly and with a lot of sarcasm. "What is the evil plan this time? You kidnapped me earlier this week. Didn't take you long to get out of prison this time."

Megamind gave an evil laugh, "Mwahahaha! You know very well, Miss Richie, that I don't give away any of my evil plans until it's time for them to **be** revealed."

Roxanne gave a slight sniff, unimpressed with the way that Megamind was conducting business today. Looking around, she gave a slight hum.

"I can tell that you've been redecorating the place. Any particular reason for that?" She asked, trying to at least get something out of the blue alien. She was a reporter after all.

"Now, now, Miss Richie. No using your nosy reporter skills on me. You know that won't work. I am aware of all of your tricks." Megamind told her, getting out of his chair.

Now that Roxanne was in the lair, he had no idea what to do next. Should he continue taunting her with the alligators, or the other evil devices that he had in store for her? Or should he just contact Mr. Goody-To-Shoes for her to be rescued?

While he was deliberating with himself, Minion reentered the room. "Everything is ready sir. We can contact Metro Man now if you like." Seeing the way that Megamind was pacing around the "evil chair" he could tell that he wasn't quite ready to implement his plan. "Or we can wait a little bit longer for you to finish with Miss Richie, sir."

"Yes, Minion. I'm not quite done with Miss Richie for now. Wait a little longer." he said, waving Minion back into the other room.

"You know, Megamind, as I know that all your plans won't work and you'll just go back to prison. No matter how you try, you'll always fail. So just get the plan over with already. I would like to get some work done today, if you don't mind." Roxanne told him, trying to get him to spill about the "evil plan".

With a pout on his face, Megamind said, "What, you don't want to stay in my company? We were having so much fun."

With that said, Megamind walked over to the nearest brain-bot and activated the camera setting.

"Calling on Metro Mahn! Oh Metro Mahn?"

*****RRMMRRMMRRMM*****

Metro Man was startled out of a meeting with the mayor, when the TV in the meeting room blared to life and the image of Megamind appeared. After that image appeared, a brain-bot appeared in the room.

"Megamind! To what do I owe the honor of your "august" presence in this meeting room?" Metro Man asked.

"I'm glad you asked that, old friend. You see, I have here a mutual acquaintance of ours. Maybe you remember her?" The camera panned out to show Roxanne Richie tied up in a chair, trying not to look bored. "As you can see, Metro Mahn, I have here Roxanne Richie and she will be fed to my alligators if you don't come and find me right now. I don't care if you're in a meeting with the puny mayor of Metrocity," he continued, "get here fast or she becomes food." With that, the connection was cut.

Taking a deep breath, Metro Man turned to the Mayor of Metro City and said, "If you will excuse me?" And with that, he took off out of the window, off to find Megamind and Roxanne.

*****RRMMRRMMRRMM*****

"Metro Man approaching, sir." Minion said, after getting a report from the brain-bot that was with Metro Man, acting like a go-between from Metro Man and Megamind.

With a smirk toward Roxanne, Megamind got the control for his newest plan. It was a small itty-bitty little fly. But it wasn't just any type of fly. This fly bit and was able to grow into a larger form – large enough to swallow a so-called hero by the name of Metro Man.

A crash was heard outside the Lair. All three occupants of the room looked up, in time to see Metro Man fly straight through the ceiling. Landing a few feet away from Megamind and Roxanne.

"Found you, Megamind. Now hand over Roxanne and you can go to prison again." With that, Metro Man started walking toward the two.

"Uh uh uh, Metro Mahn. You still have to face the wrath of my Super Fly." With that Megamind pushed the button.

For a second, nothing happened. Then a buzzing sound could be heard. Megamind pushed another button and a gigantic fly was seen behind Metro Man. Before Roxanne could scream a warning, the Super Fly opened it's mouth and swallowed Metro Man.

_'That will take care of him.'_ Megamind thought to himself. But of course, he was mistaken. In the abdominal area of his Super Fly, where Metro Man should have been, there could be seen a red light. It was Metro Man and his laser vision.

With a giant burst of the fly, Metro Man had successfully emerged from the stomach. He was covered in goop, but he was otherwise unharmed. _'Go figure,'_ Megamind thought bitterly, _'he's unharmed because he's freaking invulnerable!'_

"You had your chance Megamind. Now it's time to go back to jail." Metro Man said, untying Roxanne.

Roxanne was in one arm, Megamind in the other. Flying off to the prison, he dropped Megamind off.

"Oh thank you, Metro Man, for returning our wayward prisoner." The Warden said, clapping a pair of hand-cuffs onto Megamind.

"You're very welcome, Warden. Hopefully this time, he'll stay behind bars." With that, he and Roxanne were gone.

*****RRMMRRMMRRMM*****

After Metro Man dropped Roxanne off at her apartment, she had time to think about things. That kidnapping was awfully familiar to a few kidnappings. It seemed that every year, on the same day, he threatened to feed her to his alligators. Now that she thought of it, she remembered noticing something strange about the lair today.

_'Why were there birthday banners in the entrance?'_ She thought to herself. Now, being the smart, nosy reporter, she had a crazy idea.

Deciding to put her idea to the test, Roxanne got into her car (It was returned to her), and drove to the prison to have a little chat with an inmate by the name of Megamind.

*****RRMMRRMMRRMM*****

At the prison, Megamind was in his cell, fuming. _'Why didn't it work? I thought that even Metro Mahn wouldn't have been able to survive being digested by a giant fly! Oh, curse my lot in life. Is this what I'm destined for? A life filled with failure?'_

Hearing a knock on his cell door, Megamind looked up and saw that it was the Warden. He had the door opened and was coming in with several guards.

"You've got a visitor, Megamind. Stand up." Slapping on the hand-cuffs, he motioned Megamind forwards into the visitor area.

Roxanne Richie was his visitor? Man, she must be a slave for punishment.

"Hello Megamind. I just wanted to give you this thing. I hope you like it." With that, Roxanne placed a bag on the table and went to leave the room.

Megamind looked into the bag, and couldn't guess what was in it. "What's the occasion, Miss Richie?" he asked.

Without looking back, Roxanne said, "Happy Birthday, Megamind."

The only thought that went through his mind as he watched her walk away was, _'How on Earth, did she know?'_


End file.
